homesick

Beng Yaw called,
Saying that he will be going back this wednesday,
Asking me if i want to join him to go back anot?

YES, i really wanted to
But i can't.

I wanted to go back cz i miss everyone at home.
But i don't want to go back bcz everytime when i'm coming back to kl,
i see mom crying....
And then i'll be crying alone... cz i don't want to let her see my tears.
So i'll be acting cool, happy...
and she thought that i'm very eager to go back to kl.

But the truth is NO,
i'm not.
I wanted to stay there....

A smile might not alwas be a happy smile.
Behind that smile,
There could be warm tears never seen....
Pain never felt....
Loneliness that haunts....

Shit i cant stop my tears now....
i'm going to bed.